am I dating other people?

Before you freak out... let me answer the question: NO.

However, as I look at my life I only have so much time, energy and focus. As I look at my schedule over the last few months I've come to notice that I've dated other people when I've visited with them, helped them, counseled them, planned with them... and then look at the time I officially put my wife and family into my agenda.

What's the deal? How dumb is that?

I've said: your calendar and check book tell you what you value... and though some of the closest people to me are highly valued, my calendar doesn't always reflect that.

It's easy to get into a Messiah complex - if I don't do this... if I don't plan this... if I don't change this for that... if I don't meet them.... The list goes on, and it keeps demonstrating that I still believe everything relies on me.

God has definitely given me a mission and vision... a calling and passion. But he's also provided me with a community of people to accomplish that with. We're suppose to be in it together. Maybe I shouldn't do stuff that others don't come alongside. Maybe I shouldn't start stuff no one will start with me. Not sure where to draw the line. But one thing is certain, I better date the right people in my life, and serve the rest as God leads and gives me energy to do so... the rest is in his hands.

Now to live like I just blabbed... God help me on this one.